Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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