is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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