just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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