Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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