theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
