i permit you to call me
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
