I can text with my tongue
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
