i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
