Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
