Your mouth is God's brothel.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
