erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
