just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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