i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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