so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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