After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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