when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
