Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
