the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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