I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
