I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
