This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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