I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
