Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
