i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Randomize
