We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
