Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
one might say we're banned from that church
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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