its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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