me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
