My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
