p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
