I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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