a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
