If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
