Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
this just has baby written all over it
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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