I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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