Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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