i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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