So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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