Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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