yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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