I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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