Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
