Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
