you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
