there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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