Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
