Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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