you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
no you cant smoke seaweed
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
