Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
