Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
