piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Nicole vs. Life
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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