:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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