If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
