What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
